everyone can I believe 
looking forward to seeing them
PAINFUL TIMES
Feel my pain nβ feel the pressure if you walk in my shoes
All my Lβs came with depression I think itβs okay to lose
No one came to help me I stood alone on my own twoβs
I was cool with everybody Bcuz I always pay my Dues
I try to stay in touch with culture while I watch the news
But, then again. Man, whatβs the point? If I got years to do
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absolutely fire. my boy
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PAINFUL TIMES II
While you all battling with poverty or trying to make ends-meet
Iβm just worried about these state-trays nβ the dude sitting beside me
A lot of extortion plus bribery βlost sheepsβ committing sodomy
I guess itβs kind of sick even the chaos donβt even bother me
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PAINFUL TIMES III
To be honest, here in my cell feels like Heaven while in Hell
These prison fences against the gates of Heaven cannot prevail
I am prospering in the dungeons learning containtment very well
The pit have become my palace, I guess, I done got use to the smell
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God may let them rest in a feeling of security, but His eyes are on their ways. For a little while they are exalted and then they are gone. They are brought low and gathered up like all others. They are cut off like heard of grain. Job 24:23-24
****Prison Cell****
"The prison door is open, child. The captives are set free.
Yet here you sit in gloomy dusk and make no move to flee.
What holds you here in these four walls? What comfort in this place?
Can you not hear the Saviorβs voice? Rise up! Take hold of grace!
βI donβt know what you talk about, for surely youβve gone mad
What more is there that I could need? What luxury to add?
These walls protect and keep me safe. I reign as king in here
This is no cell that holds me in. Your words are most unclearβ
βI tell you child, that you are blind. Step out and you will see
The Warden holds you captive here and lets you think your free
The walls are closing all around and time will soon run out
Wake up and take a leap of faith. Cast off your prisoner doubt!β
βAnd if I did as you have asked, what gain might come my way?
And who is He you claim has called, and bid me come away?
I see no reason I should leave. I have no need of grace
Iβm happy here. My wants are met. My home is in this placeβ
βYour home is but a prison cell. The Savior sets you free
He says that there is none so blind as those who will not see
But He can open up your eyes and bring you into light
Your walls torn down to lead you out, and put an end to nightβ
βOh go away. Iβve heard enough. Your words do weary me
You donβt make sense. Thereβs nothing wrong. My eyes do surely see
And of this light you speak about, why I can see just fine
My wealth is piled up to the roof and casts a brilliant shineβ
βI see the door is closing now, and Jesus bids me come
Is that the Wardenβs steps I hear? In you his victory won?
I go to where my Savior is, for He does own my heart
I grieve that you refused His call, but now I must departβ
"Good riddance, is all I can say. Your preaching does wear thin
All this talk of prison walls. Youβd think I lived in sin!
Now Iβm free to live my life without your nagging voice
Thank God, if such a god exists, Heβs given me the choice
βBut whatβs that stench that fills the air? What shroud of darkness this?
Those footsteps thudding at my door and that most dreadful hiss?
Oh no! Come back! I change my mind! What horror can this be?
And who are you whoβs locked my door with that infernal key?β
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Very powerful almost made me cry.
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Better days
I remember the old pains, I remember doing lots of evil things
Lost in the world, all by myself, donβt need anyone, I do it myself.
Living for sin, letβs get paid, getting high everyday,
certified in the game, calling shots for the gang, prideful and violent stay out my way, digging my way to an early grave.
I remember being lost in a maze, mind so clouded everythings a haze, darkness around my heart like a cage, rage in my eyes better look away. I donβt need nobody else, I stand tall by myself.
I know I need to change my ways, I donβt want to live this way
lost in the dark alone by myself, hitting my knees begging for help.
I remember when He came, when He took my pain away, called me by name, helped me through everything, He showed me a brand new way, now Iβm moving onto better days,
I know Iβm not alone, and Heβs here to help, I walk with God Iβm not by myself.
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AMEN BIG BRUH I LOVE IT 
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Cold
My heart never was warm, I kept it frozen and wrapped in chains
emotions locked away I would never let them out the cage
the one time I let someone close , I ended up broken and confused
they say time will heal all your pain, like a bandaid on the wound, yet the hurt inside still rages on, so maybe its to soon
laying silent at night staring at the cieling in my room, still wishing I was by your side gazing at the moon.
Starry nights spent together baring my soul open to you,
you forced me down and crushed my dreams leaving me so blue, how could I still feel this way after the abuse.
Closing all my doors again, building up these walls, canβt stay crawling down so low, get back to standing tall, yet how do I go back to being stone, pushing everyone away being so alone.
No feelings left inside itβs like their drained away, pain eating me alive sapping my strength, how can I be so willing to change, yet so afraid to step outside in faith
keeping my heart locked away inside a cage
My hearts still cold, frozen in place, I donβt think it will ever be the same, wounds to deep for the flames to burn away, repressing my emotions, inside is where they stay.
God is helping with his love, and there are some people on his team, praying everyday to bring me peace, I myself spend so much time down on my knees, begging every night for release,
from behind these walls not talking about the cell, who knew being so in love could bring you close to hell.
My heart is still so cold, this pain is still so real, but day by day the frost thaws away, Iβm slowly being healed,
they say time takes the pain away, Iβm still bleeding out from this wound. burying my pain away placing my love in a tomb, I donβt want to be this way, God please heal me soon.
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some days
Some days it feels like, these walls are closing in
I can sense them creeping inch by inch,
slowly crushing my spirits, Iβm screaming for help nobody hears it.
some days it feels like, Iβm dying on the inside
pain eating away at me all night,
drowning in darkness with no light
beaten down until I canβt fight
some days I feel so alone, heartless made out of stone
crumbling away til Iβm gone, cracked and broken,
going down off the deep end, drowning with no air to breathe in.
Some days, I remember that Iβm saved, there was a price that He paid, and all He requires is faith, but giving it sometimes thats hard, living emotionally scarred, trapped behind physical bars, mentally going to war, making me feel so torn,
some days, I hit my knees begging and pleading, God you know what Iβm needing Your love and mercy, redeeming, God Iβm fighting my demons, Iβm having trouble Iβm reeling, please God I need some healing.
Some days, are better then others Iβm thankful to my sisters and brothers, your prayers uplift me, your worry and care hits me, down in the pit where itβs dark your lights are healing my heart.
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This one hit home big bruh. Keep preaching the word 
Lucky you, you actually get to hear me sing them XD
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Very emotional, I wish there was a way to actually post a video of you saying the words, so everybody can hear, you know?
that would be dope, maybe once Iβm out I will record them.
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that would be so 
@d-o.o-b agreed about poetry set to music.
this is a song i wrote in 2009, when i was struggling once again to hold onto chastity in my loneliness. i had had an abortion a couple years prior, so that is alluded to in it, as part of why i must wait for my future husband. (note, i detest the term βlover,β but it seemed to have a better ring to it in a song than βhusband,β plus it applies to both sexes that way. βspouseβ doesnt have enough syllables, also.)
Worth the Wait
its been months,
just want a taste of another body
come, get too close
i just want some love
but ill regret it
by tomorrow, im sure.
and so i prove to myself once again,
its worth the wait,
if i could just wait.
wisdom is the key
dont wanna waste another soul,
my own gift of a beautiβ body
i know my future lover is worth the wait.
know that your future lover is worth the wait,
and youβre worth the wait.
β¦sidenote, i continued to make lots of mistakes, i still pay the price. i have a toddler daughter and im determined to teach her effectively into wanting to wait, and knowing its worth it, unlike i wasnt able to embrace, since i didnt have the right influences. my song was pure and true, but i failed utterly to live up to it, in a world that didnt seem willing to wait for me.
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Not mine, but a poem written by Dr. A. B. Simpson entitled βHimselfβ
Once it was the blessing, now it is the Lord
Once it was the feeling, now it is His word
Once His gifts I wanted, now the Giver own
Once I sought for healing, now Himself alone
Once was painful trying, now 'tis perfect trust
Once a half salvation, now the uttermost
Once was ceaseless holding, now He holds me fast
Once was constant drifting, now my anchorβs cast
Once was busy planning, now is trustful prayer
Once was anxious caring, now He has the care
Once was what I wanted, now what Jesus says
Once was constant asking, now is ceaseless praise
Once it was my working, His it hence shall be
Once I tried to use Him, now He uses me
Once the power I wanted, now the Mighty One
Once for self I labored, now for Him alone
Once I hoped in Jesus, now I know Heβs mine
Once my lamps were dying, now they brightly shine
Once for death I waited, now His coming hail
Now my hopes are anchored, safe within the veil.
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Your Father's Love
For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, the He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Romans 8:29
The Fatherβs love for you is based
Upon the wonders of His grace
No merit earned. No claim to make
No deed to put His love at stake.
You are not hidden from His sight
He knows each triumph, peril and plight
He knows full well your inner being
Your hurts and fears His eyes have seen.
And furthermore, the Lord you God
Has made of you His special charge
Before creationβs call He knew
Who you would be. What you would do.
His love for you transcends your birth
He gave His Son to give you worth
He fashions you throughout your days
He is the Potter to your clay.
He sees the you that youβll become
Wrought by the power of His Son
And you will be what God will make
There is no surer, safer place.
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Psalm 36
A rif on Psalm 36 in poetic verse.
Your Oracle, within My heart, decries transgressors way,
His wicked eyes do not fear God,
and ego spurns corrective rod.
His Sin exposed elicits hate,
his mouth explodes in lying spate,
Goodness flees and evil clings,
his bed a lab of horrid things.
His heart befriends malicious ways, and scoffs the reckoning day.
From Heaven high your mercy reigns, your faithfulness I sing,
Your righteousness is mountainous,
Your judgements deep and cavernous.
You give life to man and beast,
and keep alive from great to least.
Compassion is your appellation,
precious beyond comprehension.
We bairns rest and play secure under Your loving wing.
From the fullness of your house, abundance of your hand,
Our grateful hearts are satisfied,
In your fullness we abide.
Your river courses truth and treasure,
from which we drink our richest pleasure.
You are of life an endless fountain,
Flowing from Your holy mountain.
Bathed in brightness of your light, in radiance we stand.
For evermore Your kindness show, to all who know your name,
Those of pure and upright heart,
from Your Love let neβre depart.
Nor let prouded foot assail,
nor wicked hand perchance prevail.
Fallen, those who dare assume,
to ply their evil lies of doom;
Cast out and down, aye neβre to rise, in everlasting shame.
Psalm 36:1-12
An oracle within my heart concerning the transgression of the wicked: There is no fear of God before his eyes.
For he flatters himself in his own eyes, When he finds out his iniquity and when he hates.
The words of his mouth are wickedness and deceit; He has ceased to be wise and to do good.
He devises wickedness on his bed; He sets himself in a way that is not good; He does not abhor evil.Your mercy, O LORD, is in the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
Your righteousness is like the great mountains; Your judgments are a great deep; O LORD, You preserve man and beast.
How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, And You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures.
For with You is the fountain of life; In Your light we see light.Oh, continue Your lovingkindness to those who know You, And Your righteousness to the upright in heart.
Let not the foot of pride come against me, And let not the hand of the wicked drive me away.
There the workers of iniquity have fallen; They have been cast down and are not able to rise.
KP 2026
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