Toxic Christmas Culture

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So, I used to love everything about Christmas. The music, the matching pajamas, the Starbucks holiday cups, all of it. But in the last few years, I started noticing that I was dreading December instead of looking forward to it anymore.

It wasn’t just the busyness, though; it’s the pressure. Every year, I tell myself “this year will be different,” and every time I still end up buried under wrapping paper, Amazon boxes, and guilt. I’d scroll through social media and feel like everyone else was having a picture-perfect Christmas, i.e., snowy family photos, sparkling trees, making 10 different kinds of cookies, while I was just trying to remember where I hid the gifts I bought ahead of time to avoid stress!

Last year, I maxed out my credit card on “thoughtful” gifts and cried in the Target parking lot because I still felt like I hadn’t done enough. Days later, as I sat in my Christmas Eve service, surrounded by candlelight and carols, I realized I hadn’t thought about Jesus once in association with Christmas outside of Sunday mornings all season. I had baked, bought, wrapped, and hustled… but hadn’t reflected on why we do all this - what I was celebrating. Not really.

This year I’m planning to approach Christmas differently. I’m going to try to slow down. I’ll set boundaries with my calendar. I want to bake cookies for our neighbors and read Luke 2 together before opening presents.

I’m not saying this will make my Christmas season perfect or Christ-centered in every way (despite my best efforts). Of course, I still love cozy pajamas and Hallmark movies, too. But now, I want to ask myself:

  • Am I doing this because it points me toward Jesus, or because I feel like I have to?
  • Is this bringing peace, or pressure?
  • Am I spending time celebrating the Savior, or just chasing the season?

Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be honest. It’s not about performing for the world; it’s about remembering that God came to the world. Emmanuel. God with us.

How are you approaching toxic Christmas culture this year?

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It’s striking how the pressure often sneaks in through things that are technically “good.” Family rituals, generosity, aesthetic beauty, they’re not wrong in themselves… and yet they can slowly trade places with the center.

Maybe that’s why the exhaustion feels so heavy: we know we’re running hard, but not always toward anything.

One thing that stood out in what you wrote is how the shift wasn’t from “bad” things to “good” things, it was from default patterns to conscious attention.

I keep wondering if part of “toxic Christmas culture” is exactly that: treating the season as a production rather than a story we’re inside of.

Curious, when you think about this year, what single moment would actually feel like “celebrating” rather than “keeping up”?

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It’s beautiful to me how you went from obligation to worship. Thanks so much for sharing your story!

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Don’t you hate it? I know I do. You just figure out what your little kiddies want to be for Halloween, and as you are buying your goodies for those that may knock on your door, you see out of the corner of your eye, Christmas displays being put together.

Oh yeah, ‘tis the Season. Going to the store to get the turkey, and listening to Jingle Bells playing on the Muzak System. Whatever happened to Thanksgiving? This year, more and more stores have opened on Thanksgiving for their special Black Friday deals. This means more and more people were forced to work on Thanksgiving and not spend time with their families.

The thing that is even more sad is this. What is Thanksgiving all about? What is the meaning of Christmas? What about Easter? Forget the other “Jewish” Holidays. Unless you are a practicing Jew, you most likely have no idea what the Passover, Rosh Hashanah, or Yom Kippur even are, or when they are.

So why is this? Why is Thanksgiving a lost Holiday? Why is it that most people cannot even tell you the true meaning of the Holidays? Christmas is about a fat guy in a red suit, and about getting stuff. Easter has colored eggs, more candy, and a bunny hopping down the bunny trail.

BILLIONS are made on the Holidays. BILLIONS of Dollars. Halloween over $6.0 billion, Father’s Day $10.2 billion, Easter $14.02 billion, Mother’s Day $14.88 billion, Valentine’s Day $17.60 billion, Thanksgiving $30.5 billion, Christmas $135.16 billion.

Here is the thing, it really is Christmas Time. I do not care if you are Jewish, or Muslim, or even Christian; it IS Christmas. It is a time to celebrate and rejoice in the fact that…

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” {John 3:16}

We are remembering what the Angel said…

“Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men.” {Luke 2:10-14}

There is nothing wrong with gift-giving and family gathering, as long as you remember and teach the children the true meaning of Christmas. Be careful not to get infected by the Toxic Christmas Culture.

Peter

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I had a Christian friend who said their family did not observe Christmas because they felt it was not centered around Christ. My response was to ask what made them think Christmas had anything to do with Christ.

Family life is so anemic in today’s society, that anything that can help elevate the role of family might be beneficial. The holiday evolved into a commercial enterprise. One might object to the effect the over indulgence of children might have on their character, but trying to make it a religious day seems to be swimming upstream.

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Thanks for sharing. It’s so true–the pressure feels almost inescapable.

A few things I have done and found to be helpful:

  • Making homemade gifts. This could be cookies, treats, crafts, ornaments, etc. It’s especially fun to involve my kids. Most people appreciate these lower-cost homemade items more anyway. One tried-and-true one I love is to make jars of simmering spices.

  • Focusing on experience gifts rather than physical gifts. Quality time is built right in!

  • Printing out a December calendar and filling it with fun holiday activities leading up to Christmas. Simple things like hot cocoa dates at your favorite restaurant, watching a Christmas movie, taking a walk to enjoy Christmas lights, etc.

  • Going through an Advent devotional. I like to pick one that is short and sweet so I don’t end up adding something overwhelming to this busy season.

I still have to push back against the hustle and bustle, even with these things in mind. I also have to remind myself often that if a tradition isn’t working for me and my family, it’s okay to let it go. Like you said, Christmas is about God coming to Earth as a human to be with us in all our human frailty and worries and imperfection.

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I think celebrating Christ looks like worship through music for me! Definitely looking forward to Christmas songs in church!!

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who editted my post :thinking:

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No one has to submit to the presures of a commercal Christrmas.

If one has children in the family where one is celebrating, then yes get them presents.

If it is just adult family, ask what would they like for Christmas ( most people don’t want any particular gift ) so get a fewpersonal gifts, a book they would like, subscription to a magerzine, smellies etc and give a card from anu of the charities that send praticle help to those living in real poverty.

As part of Christmas do ensure you attend a church where you or your family is known, this is a major part of the celebration.

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