What Do You Think of the Phrase "It's Not a Religion, it's a Relationship"?

General Faith
1

Is it actually biblical?

I get why Christians sometimes use this phrase. We want to emphasize that the Christian faith is not a series of dos and don’ts, not a list of rules or mindless liturgies, not a checklist to earn salvation or God’s good graces. Instead, we want to stress the preeminence of knowing Jesus personally as our Savior, but also as a friend and advocate who cares about our day-to-day lives.

All that is good and I agree, but has this phrase become too trite and unhelpful, or even harmful?

The Gospel may be simple in some ways and open to all, but do phrases like this diminish the struggles we still face as humans in this fallen world? I’ve shied away from using this phrase and others like it because I think it can make the Christian faith sound pollyannaish or surface-level, even though that’s kind of opposite of what this phrase initially meant to imply, I think.

Today’s world is pretty complicated with modern technologies, social media, and our fast-paced lives, that I’m not sure this kind of saying works anymore. I think, however, if people see us living out of the power of that relationship, that will be extremely impactful.

What are your thoughts? Do you use this phrase?

Better yet, I’d love to hear alternatives to this that perhaps have more nuance or invite more of a discussion. Unfortunately, in today’s heavily charged political and religious climate, I think a phrase like this can so easily be used as a bludgeon, instead of as an open door if we’re not thoughtful in how we use it.

I appreciate that this article provides these 7 Pillars to Spiritual Growth when talking about moving from religion to relationship:

-Prayer (Colossians 4:2)
-Worship (Romans 12:1)
-Gratitude (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
-Community (Hebrews 10:24-25)
-Generosity (Luke 6:38)
-Bible Study (Psalm 119:105)
-Rest (Psalm 37:7)

I find these helpful to provide more context for what the all important Relationship in the Christian faith can/should look like in practice. This is the kind of practical guidance I think people curious about the Christian faith want to see.

2

I think the heart behind “It’s not a religion, it’s a relationship” is good. It reminds us that faith isn’t about earning God’s favor but walking daily with Him. But I also think we’ve used it so casually that it’s lost depth.

Christianity is a relationship, yes, but it’s also a way of life shaped by truth, discipline, and obedience. Jesus didn’t just invite people into friendship. He called them to take up their cross and follow Him.

Maybe instead of dismissing “religion,” we could say Christianity is a relationship that transforms how we live out our faith.

Does anyone else have opinions on Christianity as a “relationship” risk, making it too individualistic, or does it actually help people see the heart of the Gospel more clearly?

3

I like that phrase: “Christianity is a relationship that transforms how we live out our faith.” I think that’s much less trite and more descriptive, and it keeps us accountable as Christians to examining our lives to see if we are bearing fruit of that transformation.

4

I’ve always thought of this phrase as a good reminder to not adopt a legalistic approach to faith life. Jesus reminds us that the man who came to God humbly and confessed his error was reconciled to God while the pharisee who checked all the boxes did not. He shows us that the son who had everything took it for granted but the son who rebelled learned what the love of his father really meant. The party thrown for the brother who wasted what his dad gave him. Lets not forget the bible is full of these inverse order reminders to keep us from that place of blind pride.

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5

That’s a good way to look at it. It’s so easy to forget that our relationship with Jesus has many of the best elements of our relationships with the humans in our life whom we love. In that sense, it certainly makes sense to think of our Christian faith as a relationship with a real person and not get caught in the trap of mindlessly following a set of rules.

6

I don’t like it because I have a friend for example he’s a devout Christian but he really truly believes in this to the extent where he has nothing to do with the church he doesn’t attend church and I mean he might listen to sermons online but he just doesn’t really want to be a part of the church. So that’s not everybody who says this but that’s one big issue I have with it . But as far as the saying itself it is true but one must ask what is one implying. Should you ditch the church just to have this relationship and what does that mean exactly. Then there’s also the problem that Christianity is not practiced in isolation. So I’m not really fond of this saying to be honest.

7

That sounds good and catchy, but it’s just not true. The Bible doesn’t command us to choose between religion and relationship.

James said “Pure and undefiled religion before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world” ~James 1:27. God honors real religion, the kind that springs from obedience and love, not religious rituals and show.

It’s true when they say “It’s not a religion, it’s a relationship” that they are rejecting dead rituals or human traditions. But Christianity is a religion, one that puts a priority on knowing, loving, and obeying Jesus Christ.

Through Christ we come into a relationship with God ~John 1:12, but that relationship produces worship, devotion, and holiness. That is a living religion.

But where people get caught up is in legalistic systems that turn a relationship with God into a philosophy and ritual. That’s the problem with Orthodox theology, or any teaching that sets up any other system in place of the Word of God and His commands. Paul warned that some “have a form of godliness but deny its power” ~2 Timothy 3:5. That’s what happens when religion is all about ceremony and not Christ.

So the way to say it is this:

True Christianity is both a relationship and a pure religion. The relationship causes the religion to be full of life, and the religion keeps the relationship in submission. Anything that takes the place of either one of those with human tradition is another trap of the enemy.

When most people hear the word religion, they think of rituals or ceremony, priests, or denominational church systems such as Catholicism. But that’s not the biblical definition at all.

James 1:27 tells us that real religion is “to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” In other words, it is obeying God, being merciful, and living a pure life.

The Greek word for “religion” simply means worship or devotion. It’s how our faith in God works itself out on the outside. Religion is not bad in and of itself, unless it’s fake. Religion is bad when people do it just for appearances but don’t really love God. That’s the kind of false religion that Jesus condemned the Pharisees for in ~Matthew 15:8.

So biblical religion is when your relationship with Christ causes you to obey God, be compassionate, and be holy.

It’s not ceremony, it’s activity.

It’s not a means of earning God’s favor, it’s living in the confidence of having God’s favor through Christ.

8

Love this summary! Thanks for sharing your insights.

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9

That’s true. It does seem that some people will use this phrase to not be involved with church or Christian community and to instead almost craft their own religion ironically!