What do you think is the secret to a long, lasting, and healthy marriage? If you had one piece of advice for new couples, what would it be?
In her article answering this question, Jaime Jo Wright said: “Maybe not secrets so much as foundational principles. This is what exists when marriage is observed through the eyes of its creator God and the lens of marriage as a whole,” which I really liked.
Mutual respect. Daily conversation away from family. Just the two of you chatting. Never complain about each other to your parents. Agreement on how finances are handled. Separate televisions.
Mine is an odd one.
Decide HOW you are going to argue.
You see, I’m a “face it right off and confront immediately”. My husband is a “Let it sit for a minute, cool down, then discuss”. When we had our first “blow-out”, it ended with him stomping out the door, tripping over a cat leash, and landing face first in the mud.
Oh, and don’t think that you’ll never argue. One woman told me that she & her husband never argued. I told her that she was either a fool or a liar. I found out that the reason they never argued was because they hid things from each other.
For the record, we celebrated our 39th anniversary this month.
Joe McKeever’s article on 50 years of marriage offers valuable insights that can be applied to any couple seeking a strong and lasting relationship. One key takeaway is the importance of perseverance and commitment, even during the tough times. He shares how he and his wife, Margaret, decided to “hang in there” when things got difficult, which ultimately allowed them to experience the blessings of a long marriage. This idea resonates with the biblical principle of love enduring all things and not giving up, as highlighted in 1 Corinthians 13:7.
Another profound piece of advice from the article is the significance of having a supportive community. McKeever emphasizes how friends and church family played a pivotal role in their journey. They provided support, encouragement, and even tough love when needed, such as when his church made it clear that he couldn’t remain as pastor if he chose to leave his marriage. This illustrates the importance of accountability and being surrounded by people who want to see your marriage succeed.
There is no lasting marriage better than two couples who are living a new life in Christ
I agree.
While it is possible to have a long-lasting marriage apart from Christ, I think it is made a little easier and is ore of a blessing when both are equally yoked under Christ.
Take your marriage vows seriously.
A radical notion, I know.
One time my parents were having a joke-argument. My mother said, “That’s it; I want a divorce.” Suddenly my father stopped joking & said to her to never even joke about that. My parents took their wedding vows VERY seriously; they were married for 67 years before my mom died.
That has been my position as well through 51 years of marriage - divorce is simply not on the table, ever. If someone needs the “secret” to a “lasting” marriage, that person is confused. A “happy” marriage is a different story, but each couples’ secrets for that are likely to be different.
Communication is Key. Communication leads to a lasting friendship in your marriage. Being able to talk about the hard things in life as well as the amazing things builds a lasting bond that is able to survive any storm. Learning to choose to communicate with each other about your concerns rather than the outsiders is a great to uphold a concrete marriage. Become your partners best friend through Communication.
Couldn’t agree with you more! Communicating even the little things protects against resentment and issues slowly festering and turning into much much larger ones that are then more difficult to resolve down the road.