It feels like a lot of conversations today turn into people talking past each other.
Everyone has strong opinions, but real listening seems harder to find.
I’ve been wondering if that’s something we’ve lost a bit, and what it would look like to bring it back.
Yes, I find this is true, mostly, for three prodominate ways.
1- The lact of teaching God, Jesus, the Worfd of God, at Home and in our schools. Worse than that, the preplacement of “no God.”
2- The idol of self. It no longer matters right and wrong. Your opinion matters, no matter how wrong it may be.
3- All the noise. So many distractions out there.
Peter
There is that in humans called the flesh. It is simply selfishness. Every time man has made himself prosperous and comfortable, he increase the expression of his selfishness. God made the world much more difficult after the flood. With the industrial revolution man has made himself more comfortable. As a result, we do not need each other as much to survive and thus we can indulge our selfishness to a greater degree. The conversational observation you have made is just an indicator of this natural expression of human nature.
Interestingly the same can be observed of Christians who have not yet begun to mature from the selfishness of the flesh to the selfless love of Christ-likeness that can be found in walking by the Spirit.
For sure, folks often think that when they are talking, they are giving someone else “a gift”, maybe a gift of their knowledge, their sage opinion, or the benefit of their personal experience, and the are probably right. Avid learners recognize that others possess knowledge, opinions, and experiences that they can benefit from. It is recieved as “a gift” because others have no requirement to share their knowledge, even if sometimes their knowledge is “a gift” we really don’t care to keep. But I wonder how often we consider that whoever is listening to us speak is also giving us a precious gift of listening. I have begun to think in this way. You may realize, as I do, that being heard is a grace, and one for which we should be grateful. Unfortunately, the grace of “listening to understand” is becoming rarer. It seems our noisy society has developed a surplus of “talking” mouths and a shortage of “listening” ears. Surely we understand that for social communication to work, there really has to be a 1:1 ratio of talking and listening. The closer we come to achieving this ideal ratio, the better our communication, which will lead us into a stronger, healthier society.
When someone takes the time to listen comprehensively to us, aren’t they really giving us a precious gift of their attention?
In the Book of James the author says:
“ So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
This verse is set within the context of enduring trials and suffering, reminding us that when we are mistreated, we should keep our mood calm and our mouths closed, focusing on (and rejoicing in) the growth that God is providing through suffering. But the reach of this sage admonition goes much further than just enduring specific trials; it is also sound advice for daily Christian living. James is not saying communication is perfected when there is much more listening than talking, but rather we are reminded to take intentional steps to be ready listeners at all times, giving others our attention as a grace. We are learing when we are listening. Attentive listening lifts society against the gravity of too many self-indulgent talkers. If you think about it, the best gifts are often those of the rarest commodities, and since listening is much rarer than talking these days, our better gifts are when we attentively listen to the thoughts and ideas of others. Listening is a much more precious gift than the cheaper one in which we share our own ideas. Listening expresses love, often a deeper love than speaking. Sometimes listening in silence and waiting can express the deepest love of all.
Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, each one came from his own place–Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. For they had made an appointment together to come and mourn with him, and to comfort him. And when they raised their eyes from afar, and did not recognize him, they lifted their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head toward heaven. So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great. Job 2:11-13
But the end of all things is at hand; therefore be serious and watchful in your prayers. And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”
Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 4:7-11
By-the-way, I realize that by reading this note you have been listening to me, and so I thank you very much for your precious gift of listening.
KP
So we keep quiet and just “listen” correct @KPuff?
J.
@Johann, I hear ya bro.
Don’t get me wrong @Kpuff, I’m in full agreement with your post. But I’ve also reached the point where it’s better to just listen and let our words be few, “Be not rash with your mouth… let your words be few” (Ecclesiastes 5:2, ESV).
Ecc 5:1 Keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of God, and be more ready to hear, than to give the sacrifice of fools: for they consider not that they do evil.
Ecc 5:2 Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.
Ecc 5:3 For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words.
Ecc 5:4 When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.
Ecc 5:5 Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.
Ecc 5:6 Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was an error: wherefore should God be angry at thy voice, and destroy the work of thine hands?
Ecc 5:7 For in the multitude of dreams and many words there are also divers vanities: but fear thou God.
Shalom bro.
J.