Hey im a 15 year old and i struggle with the sin of m”sturb*tion and it really sucks i cant escape, everyday i fall into the same sin and it feels like God is not helping me, i also struggle with my faith and i cannot feel God’s presence, His love and other i simply cannot believe God is there despite wanting to be believe he is there, and truthfully im scared of hell, i dont wanna spend 10 trillion years in hell and not a second closer to being done. i wanna change and repent i also am very embarassed to confess sins to people in real life so i decided to ask here please help
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The good news is your ‘problem’ is no different than any other sin (drugs, lies, stealing, etc) The even better news is that Jesus already gave us a path from sin to holy living through him, The bestest news is that because you are aware of your sin and it bothers you that means God is talking to you. Here’s my advice.
- Secure your salvation through faith and prayer Acts 16:31
- Confess your sins to God NOT man. 1 John 1:9
- Pray for forgivness and help from his spirit.
You are Going to be Ok
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Self-stimulation is difficult in general like alcoholism. However, when normal biological drives are included. it can be even more difficult. If you are able to limit your stimulation to something like once a week, it may be sufficient to take care of the biological aspect.
One thing to be aware of is that self-stimulation can become addictive.There are a variety of imaginings that can influence this sort of stimulation and lead one into perversions. Part of adult life is to be able to forgo transient pleasures Greek Hedonism was a sort of party till you puke view of life. This consumptive life is like a hunger that is never satisfied.
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I am proud of you for your transparency. Your plea for help/assistance is assurance that you have not submitted, but continue to fight. It shows real maturity.
This, like so many things that oppress us can be viewed as if it is an ugly and unruly monster, and so it must be named and addressed as such. Giving it a suitable name is helpful in addressing it, and eventually subduing it. I suggest you call this monster something like “Trigger”, or “Cry-baby” (choose something suitable to you). Paul spoke of this process when he said “I keep under (buffet) my body and bring it into subjection” (1 Cor. 9:27). Once you give it a belittling name, you have gained back some control, and regaining total control over the monster is the goal. Taming a monster is time consuming, difficult, wearisome, and well worth all the effort. Plan on being discouraged at times, but the war will eventually be won through many skirmishes and localized battles. You only need to win more than you lose.
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At the outset, you must realize that your monster is like a feral cat, if you feed it, it will keep coming back and demanding more. If you feed it, it will grow stronger and more demanding. Feeding it is like giving your enemy the ammunition they need to defeat you. You must purpose to starve the enemy with a blockade of some sort. Ask God for His blockade, Ask God to subdue your enemies. Remember the words of Paul to the Romans: “ But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” (Romans 13:14). Removing that which provides sustenance for the monster is the only hope of blockade. If you have a hidden stash of “provision”, you are providing for your own destruction.
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If you feed the monster, it will grow stronger, and if you obey the monster, it will continuously gain more power over you. Paul tells the Romans: “Don’t you know that to whomever you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? (Romans 6:16). The more often you stand up to monstrous demands, the more power you will slowly regain over them. You are the rightful king of the realm of your body. Kings do not give into demands from peasants; Kings subjugate the unruly and bring them into line. When the monster makes a demand, speak to it like a King should speak to a subject.
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If you feed the monster, it will grow stronger, and if you obey the monster, it will gain more power over you, if you neglect the monster he will wail, scream, shriek, kick, and make such a miserable fuss trying to make your life miserable so you give in to his demands. Like a spoiled child, he is manipulating you into capitulation. The best thing to do is to ignore his temper-tantrum, and speak to him in an authoritative voice “You will not get what you want behaving that way”. Then issue the punishment: “You will now be in time out for 24 hours”. Then stick with it. That battle won, you will be on your way to winning more battles more frequently, and eventually bringing your body into total subjection.
It always takes longer, and more effort to climb out of a hole you have dug for yourself than it took to dig yourself into it. The dig-out process is long and arduous, and there is little reward along the way, only pain discomfort, and discouragement. But it is your hole. You dug it, you can climb out. The reward for climbing out is waiting at the top of the hole, and once realized will easily be worth all the effort and difficulty getting there.
Now, go slay that monster. I’m praying for your success.
KP
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Every day is a battle but god gives us the strength to fight
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Thank you so much for the advices and prayers how about his presence i cant believe that he is there like i cannot feel him i dont feel his love for me its like he is not there at all
I don’t know you, and I don’t know where you are spiritually. I also don’t know what you are expecting by “feeling His presence”, or “feeling His love for you”. I’m not sure what you have been taught in this regard. Your current situation, and your expectations determine the answer to your question; only knowing you better would illuminate where you may have strayed from the path of fellowship with God.
This I do know – If your grandmother always wore a beautiful clean white dress, you can’t expect her to ask you to sit in her lap if you have just come into the house from playing in the mud. It’s not that she doesn’t love you, and it’s not that you are not a worthy grandson, it is that it would not be proper for her to allow your filth to stain her dress. God, like this fictitious grandmother, is willing and able to clean you up and then invite you into His lap. It can only be done His way; you cannot write the rules of lap-sitting yourself and expect God to accept your way of doing things. He is Holy, and all His ways are Holy (perfect, without spot or stain). There is no mud in His presence, no sin is allowed in His throne-room, God is of “… purer eyes than to behold evil, and cannot look on wickedness” (Habakkuk 1:13) God has provided for your proper and sufficient washing through the bloody sacrifice of His own son, Jesus. You can’t do it yourself. There is no other way into His presence.
KP
First, Yee11, Welcome to the community. Second? At 15, I am very proud of you to be seeking the truth. We all sin. Some more than others, and some more severely than others.
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide a way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13
However, as Innmate031523 said, this is not uncommon, and Jesus gave you a way out.
“Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9
And
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
God is always with you. Once you accept Jesus into your life, the Holy Spirit is with you and in you. The Word of God declares this.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,” Hebrews 12:1
You may not feel Him always, but He is always there. God bless.
Peter
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Various Churches demonize sexuality, but God created it. Beware the church or group that tries to rule over your life with fear. It could be a cult. Fear is not an aspect of the Holy Spirit nor is the desire to make people feel afraid.
Masturbation is not a sin. Nor is it a bad word. It is a nornal part of life. Most men if not all masturbate even when they are married.
The misunderstanding often comes with the difference between attraction, arousal and lust. Attraction is God’s way of motivating a conversation toward a relationship. It is the natural spark that moves all creation along. We are naturally attracted toward others.
Arousal is part of your body. Men and women have biological urges as a part of the body’s natural God stamped design. You are more likely to experience it when your body needs to let go of over manufactured fluid, to say it politely. Everyone feels arousal unless they have been traumatized, which creates a disconnect between the mind and the body that needs to heal. Also, as we age, and as testosterone changes, men will experience changes to their urges. Medications also affect it.
The Sin of Lust, however, is when you objectify another person. It occurs when you only value what they can do for you without consideration for their needs. It is when you do not accept “no” as an answer. It is when you are moved to disrupt another person’s relationship in an attempt to take their partner away. And I believe it is when sex matters more than the consequence- STDs, pregnancy outside of a committed relationship, harm to another person or yourself. If you find yourself about to indulge outside of a committed, ready, financially secure relationship, at the very least minimize the potential harm.
Lust is a Desire that cannot be satiated. It moves us to destroy life and relationship, to disrespect our neighbor’s boundary. It is Lawlessness. Even after getting what you want, you will turn to find Lust again elsewhere because Lust is a hunger looking to devour and feed. But sex alone does not fill us or nourish us. Neither does any material possession we could crave. The feeling is always fleeting. And the only true fulfillment is found while being in relationship with another person.
Sex is a physical act of intimacy, meant to be shared with another person who we are called to become one with. And this is meant for adults who can support thenselves and each other through good times and bad.
If you can turn your glance away (without fulfillment) and release your pursuit, it’s not Lust. LOVE supersedes Lust and moves us to think of the other person and what they need. But if your desire to be with that person tapers off after fulfillment, neither is it LOVE.
As for what you think about or look at during the act, different people believe different things. And God knows how easy it is to access material. But keep in mind, fantasy is not reality. It never will be. The more you build up an idea in your mind, the bigger the let down when you don’t find it. And God’s plan for your life may not be that image you are focussing in on.
Remember, Christ said the highest command is to Love God with all your heart mind and soul, and the second greatest is to Love your neighbor as you Love yourself.
The Law, as seen in the 10 Commandments, exemplifies this. And all the other rules that were actually given by the Prophets, Lawgivers and Scribes of God are an attempt to execute it. And they fail. They show you sin but they do not show you how to overcome it. Through Christ, and Divine LOVE, we overcome it. LOVE fulfills the intention of the Law. LOVE as Christ modeled for us- Sacrificial, Kind, Forgiving, Gracious, Humble, Patient. These are the fruits of the Holy Spirit that we learn to embody in our walk with Christ. Let God guide your path.
As for not feeling God… My son, I know your struggle. I was saved at 17 and felt just as you described.
I felt like a sinner at every turn, far from God. I had to pray and pray until it hurt, until I was crying and begging for forgiveness. Because I believed this is what God expected. I saw God as only this giver of wrath. I did not understand God’s Mercy or Grace
We are all sinners. We live in a sinful fallen world. And God’s Grace covers us even as we struggle to loosen the grip that sin has over our lives. May your heart be filled with peace in this. God will never abandon you. You are LOVED. LOVE never abandons us.
And God is always there. Especially when you don’t feel Him. God is not a feeling, though every once in a while you may feel the Holy Spirit move like a wave of Peace releasing a heavy burden, or in a moment of crisis, or when you need healing. But this does not happen all the time.
God sometimes whispers guidance to us through our hearts. With time, you will come to see the difference between God and all other voices such as fear, anxiety, and worry. But for this moment, just continue to read the Bible. Study Scripture. Pray. Meditate. Spend some time in silence. And if you start finding your attention turned toward anything, pay attention, take note. If a gentle thought crosses your mind that brings up an interesting question, just roll with it. Debate it. Play with the thought. Have a conversation in your mind. God may be nudging you or teaching you.
But study the fruit of the Holy Spirit so you will know it when you experience it. God will never tell you to do harm, to hurt yourself or anyone else.
As long as those adults and a Man and a Woman. That is the only God blessed Marriage.
“He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6
Sex before marriage, or any other “form of marriage,” is a sin and against God. Other than that, I pretty much agree @Yee111. I believe it to be natural, and something that would be better than premarital or any other kind of sex outside of God-ordained marriage. Once you are married, it is your responsibility to please your wife, and hers to please you.
Peter
I am not here to talk about the subject that @PeterC brought up. And he does vocalize the general belief of the Conservative Church and Focus on the Family. But not every Church shares that view. And only God has all the answers. So follow God.
And this is true about a great deal of subjects. I believe most conservative churches have only existed a hundred, two, three hundred some years at most. They broke away from the Holy Catholic Church, the original Christian Church, and were counted as sinners and heritics when they left. You will find the history of Christianity to be riddled with such facts.
The Church once believed the sun spun around the Earth and persecuted anyone who said different. We know better now. And while many Christian beliefs can be traced to one Scripture or another, there is a good chance someone disagrees with that interpretation.
So develope your own relationship with God, walk with Christ, and see which direction that journey takes you. Pray and study Scripture, study historical fact rather than a biased rewrite, and come to your own conclusions through your relationship with God rather than the words of a man who may be leading you away from God’s Will. You will have more peace if you put God first, instead of a fallen man, a cult, or any organization that rebels against God’s Will.
And remember, if you ever find yourself in a church or community that does not LOVE and accept you as you are, unconditionally as God LOVES you, then I encourage you to find one that does. Never stay with someone who cannot LOVE you. You deserve better. Just make sure they aren’t a cult.
Cults come in many forms and they love to trap you with their beliefs. They tell you that they alone know the Way and you are hell bound without them. Then they destroy everything good about you until you fit nice and snug in their gelatin mold of perfect unquestioning submission. But their love always comes with a price and ends the moment you begin to question and grow beyond them. If they claim to have all the answers, I promise you they know nothing.
Christ Himself provoked learning by asking questions and telling stories that forced people to put their minds to work. The Apostles themselves had trouble understanding Him and believing Him for a good chunk of their walk with Him as Disciples.
God does not want you mindless. He wants you to see and understand. He gives you room to do this. But you have to go on the Journey yourself- to seek out the Truth, knock on the Door, and ask the Question that needs to be asked. No one else can do that for you. But God will be with you as you do it, nudging you forward and pulling you back to keep you on the right path. So don’t be afraid. Even if the Journey takes you away from everything you once knew. It is worth it.
Yes. Many false churches are popping up all over the place that teach sin is good and good is sin. Talk about rewriting. It’s that whole itchy ear thing. However, I do agree with this.
Peter
Is your need to talk about homosexuality so great that you must violate a 15yo’s plea for help, a post about struggle and needing to feel closer to God?
You have made your position known. Over and over again.
If you had any genuine care for others you would put their needs above your own. Especially when someone is asking for help, not for your stance on homosexuality. You have no idea what this kid is going through. You have no clue how close to the edge he is. And I honestly don’t think you care.
You consistently prove my point and you don’t seem to register it. Christ spoke of the Pharisee, bound up by legalism and damnation, blind to Truth, far from the high bar God has set, seeking converts to turn into twice the sons of hell as themselves.
An actual relationship with God moves people to serve others, rather than themselves. And it moves people past pettiness and the baser need of getting their feel goods by putting others beneath them. But maybe all of this is lost on you.
Perhaps examine your heart. Maybe, just maybe, try carrying someone else’s burden for a while instead of being judge jury and executioner. And if that’s difficult, Christ can help. I will pray for you. I will pray the unloving hell out of you.
Well, I believe when one teaches God’s word, one should teach the WHOLE truth. Not just that of which we may agree. As for me, talking about homosexuality? I believe I was talking about ANY premarital sex. I gave the biblical definition of marriage. Also, if you go back and re-read my response to @yee111 I never used the word homosexuality. I talked about all premarital sex, and YOU zeroed in on one.
Peter
It is important to study how cults work so they cannot decieve you. As Scripture says, be wise as snakes but innocent as doves.
And we should be careful because there are many many wolves in sheep’s clothing who pretend to be Righteous and Virtuous, who know Scripture and know how to use it to gain advantage over others.
They use Scripture to disarm the innocent, to claim a place of authority over another person. They use Scripture to claim personal moral superiority over others. And they twist Scripture to weaponize it against the innocent, to accuse people of being sinners, to justify treating others poorly, to deny service or care or fair treatment. And they even use Scripture to justify murdering their neighbor. All while appearing to "serve God, “speak truth,” and “help their wicked neighbor see the light.” As the Pharisee did in the time of Christ.
But Righteousness is a product of the LOVE that comes to fill your heart through the Holy Spirit, not your ability to point out the sins of others. This is why Scripture says, you are nothing without LOVE. The rest of it is irrelevent when it comes to Righteousness. Abraham, who lived before the Law, was counted as Righteous. Why? Because he listened to God, he was hospitable, he sought out peaceful resolutions, he prayed for the well being of others. You cannot do these things if they are not in your heart.
Devils roar like lions, looking for victims to devour. They sniff out the wounded, the sins of others, and use shame and guilt tactics to disarm them and make them vulnerable. Devils look for ways to get inside your head and manipulate you.
And there are many manipulation tactics to be aware of, such as gaslighting. Gaslighting is when you confront someone with something they did, and they turn it around on you. They tell you that you are wrong, or that you aren’t remembering correctly. Or they turn the blame back on you.
An example of gaslighting is when someone talks about a subject indirectly and then denies talking about it, turning it back on you when it is pointed out.
Another mental manipulation tactic might be when one person creates multiple accounts and then uses those accounts to lay traps and snares to lure people in by topic subjects. Then they swarm in under the guise of many people when it is actually just one voice, one mind playing games and searching for victims and pulling all the strings.
It is quite interesting how many new voices chime in on Crosswalk only to disappear. And how many accounts have similar writing styles. The following pic is about gaslighting, from google ai.
Do you have proof of this @Tillman ?
J.
Proof of what?
Of this.
…you said…
….creates multiple accounts and then uses those accounts to lay traps and snares to lure people in by topic subjects. Then they swarm in under the guise of many people when it is actually just one voice, one mind playing games and searching for victims and pulling all the strings.
Do you have any proof of this?
J.
I still don’t understand what you are asking me to prove. That people manipulate others in this way? This practice is explained by google ai in the following way:
