A really good question might be, what do we mean by judging?
One meaning is observation. I look at how you behave, how you treat people, your tone, your reactions, whether you are closed off or open, whether you are aggressive, passive, or assertive. I look at how orderly or chaotic you are. Whether you play victim or bully or take personal responsibility. And how you respond when you first meet me, and begin to engage me, and every reaction to every little subject I bring up- your interest, your lack, your own engagement or dismissal. It tells me a great deal. And I have this wonderful little ability to read people. I have a sharp, innate understanding of cues.
I look at everything like someone gathering intel. And I take all this information and gather it to a portfolio of you that I keep in my mind. It is a rolling portfolio, which means it is constantly shifting and growing. I add to it, as I see new layers. And I use this information to decide if I will trust you, to what degree, the amount of time I will give you, how much of an investment I am I going to make in your life, or if there is anything that connects us like a theme or a common interest.
And if God guides me to intervene in your life, it is a resource that I draw from. Memories of previous conversations will come to me, understanding will resonate with it as I learn more. And things about you will come to me, things you have not shared at all. I will know them. Or God will guide me to speak of a subject that is important to you, without my knowing it. It comes in the form of personal testimony that arises in my mind, or stories I am familiar with, or passages of the Bible, or Life lessons learned that I feel in some way compelled to share. And it can seem quite random, but in a way, it is like being carried downstream in a river.
I don’t fight it, I go with the flow, engaging it and letting it engage me, and engage others through me while never losing myself fully in it. I am still quite Conscious, awake, aware, focused, making decisions. We are partners, so to speak. And I don’t always know the reason why a subject was touched upon, but I trust God has a reason. And that is all I need- But sometimes, people will express the reason once something important has been touched upon. And if it is a wound, a hurt, a sensitive space that is hard for them to speak of or bring to light, it is my goal to help in the healing process. To do my little bit, as God works toward a larger healing goal in their life and I am only there for that brief moment.
I am not here to judge. I am here to help. To protect, defend, heal, and save. To feed, nurture, and support. To guide. To nudge or pull back. To encourage. To offer hope, kindness. To soothe. To counsel. And occasionally to warn when a line or boundary is about to be irrevocably passed.
I do not want to judge. I don’t want to be someone who destroys life, to decide if someone is worthy of life. I don’t want to lose my empathy, my love for others. I know what it is like to have darkness in my heart, to wish bad things on my enemies, and I do not want to be that person again. And that is the battle I wage.
It is such a slippery slope. One step into the darkness leads to another, and then another. That HATE feels so good, doesn’t it? And to have a reason to hate? Like sin? A qualified definite sinner who is hell bound? Validation that says in my mind, it’s okay to hate them. It’s okay to say snide remarks, roll my eyes, cast them away from me. It’s okay to not welcome them to my church. It’s okay not to show them the LOVE of Christ. Because God doesn’t love them like He loves me… One step after another into the flames of hell.
To me, that is what it means to serve the flesh rather than God. Getting my vengeful satisfaction, giving them the comeuppance they deserve. Focusing on the pleasure I get from being better. Because I know I am saved. Because I know I have Christ and they don’t. And it becomes so much harder to care with each step you take into it.
It takes a hold and it twists you until no one recognizes you. It is a lot like the Ring Frodo carries in Lord of the Rings; The Ring of Power tempts all who wield it, to eventually bend to Sauron’s (Satan’s) will, twisting everyone by the hold it has upon them, which grows until they are either as twisted and murderous as Gollum, or nothing but shadow puppets like the Wraiths. While it has the least effect on the small, humble, and meek (hobbits), who do not want to hold power over others, it still has a slow burn (Gollum) the longer they carry it and puts them in Sauron’s sight when they do use it.
You would probably think it would be difficult to wish an entire race of people harm, or people of another religion, just because one person behaved incredibly spiteful toward you? How hard do you think it is to see everyone as the enemy? I have experienced that. Even when I thought I was beyond it. I mean, racism??? I have always tried to be better than that. Until it happened. A racist comment. Racist thoughts. Because of the way one or two people treated me.
But the Living God, that walks with me, quickly and even preemptively puts other people in my path. To show me I am wrong about my hate. To lead me to question my judgement when I am ready to see the other person or people go to hell. Like how God said to Satan, have you considered my servant Job? Just when we think our judgement of others is sound, God places a roadblock to trip us. And Thank God, Christ is that stone that causes men to stumble. Or none of us might pause to see the evil we are so keen to do, as evil, and be moved, transformed, to do better.
To judge, for me, is a step in the wrong direction. God alone is Judge. I serve God.