Very good aliciacsres22
1 Like
Dear lost,
I’m feeling for your situation. We life in a fallen, self-centered world, and justify our responses without thinking about the other person.
You’ve had such a blanket thrown on you and your family.
The local church may not be the answer for you right now. Now is a good time to cultivate faithfulness by spending more time “behind closed doors” alone with the Lord (who will reward you in secret). Learn how to gain intimacy with your loving and faithful God. Continue in this until He leads you to help other wounding warriors or join another Church.
Building up a stable relationship with God shouls be first and foremost in your heart right now. Let your huring soul lean in to learn from Him and allow Him to heal us in our journey.
Set your eyes on learning more about God, His Word and fellowship with Him. Trust Him. He knows the perfect way for you to go.
2 Likes
Thank you for your kind response. It was very encouraging.
Paul
Dear Paul,
I’m a teaching pastor and have found that in our church activity we miss the valuable place of cultivating a relationship with our Savior and in the long run people hurt people. So, I’m not surprised with how things turned out for you. I just wish it had not because of the impact, not only on you, but on your family as well.
I have discovered two books that helped me a lot: #1. Experienceing God by Henry & Richard Blackaby & Claude V. King. #2.Celebration of Disipline, the path to Spiritual Growth by Richard J. Foster. If you are seeking more then try "a Year with God: Living Out the Spiritual Growth, by Richard J. Foster and Julia A. Roller.
Blessings, and remember nothing that happened was a suprise to God - He will make it work out as a stepping stone closing to a “with-God” life
Chrs
2 Likes
Thank you for your encouragement. I recently read a book called, “Healing your Church hurt. What do you do when you still love God but the people of God has severely hurt you?” That was very helpful but to be honest, I don’t get a lot out of reading a book. I can not ask questions. My mind goes something like this, “What about this situation or what happens if the situation didn’t work out the way you described? Or I might think, “I don’t think I agree with you on the interpretation of that verse. I think the verse should be interpreted as _____.” A friend of mine recently told me that I over think things. I told him that I can not turn my thinking off. That is why I don’t get a lot out of listening to a sermon. I get the most from a small group where we can actually have a discussion.
1 Like
Keep your faith in that God will restore you! Do not doubt! Maybe it’s a test!
So sorry for what your son has endured. You have had an unfortunate ordeal with your son which I’m sure every parent including me have been through some rough times with our children as well. That being said please give another church an opportunity to walk with your family
and grow in Christ. I had a problem with a one of my family members but I did not give up on all my family because of that one family member. I have grown even closer to my family over the years and am so glad I did not leave the entire family because of one. I pray you and your family the place God would have you serve.
Thank you for your response. I am not sure the analogy of the family works since I have 13 brothers and sisters and there are many factions in my family where various family members for various reasons are not talking to each other. The difference is that you grew up with your family. You know them. You don’t know the various leaderships of churches.
Also, this is the third time we have been severely hurt by the church. The first time my family and others left a church because it was becoming cultish. The second time, the senior pastor asked my wife if she would be the Children’s coordinator at our church. She did it faithfully for 14 years and again by gossip and false accusations a couple of moms got together and decided to accuse my wife of bullying them to help with children’s church. They lied to the pastor stating that if he didn’t fire my wife then they will leave the church and not help out. The pastor abused his authority and ruthlessly fired my wife. So right now I don’t trust any pastor or leadership of any church
1 Like
Hi Paul,
I’m glad you are finding some help from reading a book; (I know it’s hard to “train” our mind or brain to stop wondering around! In reading AND prayers, we tend to have such problems :)) but like anything else, it takes some practice and training like training muscles :)).
Perhaps practice focusing on what the book is trying to convey & imagining the author’s situation & thoughts, will help us think “like them” just a bit more, while you are looking for a helpful small-group. (AND let’s keep praying that you WILL FIND A Godly, God-fearing, and Helpful small-group! )
I’m sure we’ve all been younger, and had situations where we wanted to help and do something but some “older” and higher authorities wouldn’t let us help because of this or that issues, probably legit in the “older” one’s mind & situations, AND probably also legit ALSO in the “younger” one’s mind & situations – there are always differences in our style of work, style of thinking, and when there is a group of people trying to work together, THERE ARE always conflicts!!!
SO IF WE ARE OLDER, we should try to understand the younger one’s frustrations when they try to help, AND IF WE ARE YOUNGER, we should try to understand the complications that we may bring to the group that cause troubles. Have some patience. SO WE should each give a little way for others AND MAKE A LITTLE compromise to help them feel included, help them feel NOT- TOTALLY PUSHED AWAY, so we can prevent them feeling like they have NO OTHER way out but to report their problems to even-higher authorities (because they feel that their voices are NOT heard otherwise).
Maybe next time similar situations can be prevented if we can pray for God to intervene through all of our lives, to help us all (each person, including ourselves) make some compromises, to make things work out better.
We are all learning while on earth… until we see & Report to our Lord, our God :))
God bless you abundantly!
I cannot say I blame you one bit, & am truly sorry you & your family had this experience.
From my 35 years as a Christian Missionary Doctor, & 52 years as a Christian Medical Doctor as well, I can tell you Satan delights in using God-fearing true Christian believers as his primary target, because he already has the rest.
I don’t know one person on earth who has not been targeted by Satan in this regard & many others.
I can only pray as you continue to seek God’s healing path from this journey that you, like my, learn what He wants you to learn from allowing you to go through this.
“What our enemies do to us they do for us,” Juanita Bynum once said.
What you, I & many others have experienced is NEVER PLEASANT NOR ENJOYABLE.
Should you ever need, want or desire to hear some of my own tru stories of similar situations that hallende to myself, please do not hesitate to reach out & message me.
I will get you my contact information & let you know you do not & have not suffered alone.
Thank you for reading this; God bless you.
Thank you so much for your encouragement. It made my day. Yes, I would be very interested in hearing some of your stories. God bless,
What you stated about how technology has not in many relational ways changed our lives for the better is an understatement. I probably could and should write a book about how people have totally misinterpreted things, gone off the deep end with utterly false accusations and gossip all based on misunderstandings and not even common courtesies. The world has gotten to be such a harrowing place to live; what was once not that hard is now perilous. Thank you for your post; it is very well written and I could not concur more.
Thank you for your comment. It is appreciated. Be blessed!
I am so sorry this has happened to your son and affected your whole family. I don’t know you but my husband and I have also dealt with attacks from people who say they are Christians but do not act like it. I feel this is right from Satan himself and unfortunately these people are not even giving your son a chance. Please don’t give up on God and don’t give up on a church family but you are right to walk away from the one that you were attending. I will be praying for your son, you and your wife. I pray that God will direct you from here as to where you can find true Christians to fellowship with. Prayers and love from your sister in Christ Jesus, Cathy
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Think about these words of Jesus; they say a lot about Jesus and about you and me. Augustine of Hippo described the Sermon on the Mount as the “Ultimate Guide for living your life as a Christian.” Why don’t we do that? The Sermon on the Mount ends with:
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.”
Stay connected, all it takes is Faith in Jesus and Prayer
Let me tell you my story.
Back around 1998, my husband & I belonged to a church for a couple of years, attending regularly, and I was on the Worship Team.
To make a very long and depressing story short, we lost our home due to a real-estate scam. We fought it in court, had all of our ducks in a row, but still lost. We got the notice on a Friday that we had to be out by the following Wednesday noon. Between packing, trying to find another place to live, and a place for our cats, we were frantic. Since it was the weekend, we mostly ended up with voicemails and answering machines. Desperate for human contact, we called our pastor…just to hear a human voice. Not asking for anything, I poured out our story to him. He responded, “There’s nothing I can do; I suggest you call [city] housing.” CLICK
Yup. He hung up on me.
No sympathy. No offer for prayer. Not even a “Oh, that’s terrible!”
Once we “settled” (we met a man who ran a homeless organization & he took us in) we immediately went to find another church. After a few months of searching, finding everything between “lukewarm” and “definitely not going back”, we found the church that we now are members of. The pastor who was there was very kind and grandfatherly, always with a shoulder to cry on or arms to hug. He retired and the current pastor is younger, but still wonderful. We’ve needed our church’s help a number of times and they’ve always been there for us.
3 Likes
I am so glad that you were able to find a body of Christ to connect with. I think that is so very important.
… now I have lost faith in any Christian organization and have no interest in ever attending another church or para church organization again. I feel so lost…
I am very sorry you had this experience! I haven’t looked at everyone’s response, but I feel compelled to point out that the church (Faith in Jesus) did not let you down. people did. But fair warning; if you ever find the “perfect church”? Don’t join it! That would ruin it! We are all fallible human beings and WILL fail in our lives. Find a church were the Gospel is preached with authority. That is the importance of a church home.
I’ve heard that said before… if you find the perfect church don’t join it because it will no longer be perfect.
I am not talking about finding a perfect church. People will sin like Peter and others will betray you like Judas. What the church did and how they teamed up with the Christian school where I was teaching and how they tried to destroy my son’s reputation was evil. I have been a Christian for a very long time and I could tell you stories where Christians have hurt me. Let me give you this illustration. It is the difference between a couple falling into fornication (sin) which unfortunately happens frequently and rape. Which sin do you suppose is easier to forgive? If your daughter slept with her boyfriend or if your daughter was raped? I used to be one of those Christians that would say, “You were hurt by the church? Get over it! That happens. People are sinners.” So telling me that there is no perfect church does not help me at all. So now I teach at a public school (which normally I would not recommend because of the godless philosophy) but the “unbelievers” here are more godly than the pastoral believers at the churches I attended.