It is natural to feel deep sorrow over the death of a marriage. God grieves the brokenness of divorce because of the pain it inflicts on His children, not because He is angry with you. There is a difference between the holy sorrow of a broken situation and the suffocating guilt of shame. Romans 8:1 reminds us there is no condemnation for those in Christ.
You mentioned bringing your “shameful heart to Christ at the throne.” This is exactly right. Hebrews 4:16 tells us to approach the throne of grace with confidence to find mercy and help in our time of need. You do not need to clean up your feelings or your past before coming to Him.
Your desire for a softened heart in her ex-husband is beautiful, but you cannot control his response. God’s “next step” for you is to focus on your own healing, your vertical relationship with Him, and parenting your 21-year-olds with peace, even if your ex-husband chooses to remain distant for now.
God bless, and may God be with you. Now, and always.
Peter
Hello Sophia, I have been touched and blessed with your daily devotional writings on GodTube for several years now. And I’ve wanted to contact you before concerning the things you struggle with in life. I, too, used to suffer from depression and anxiety and worry, however, thru the combined spiritual disciplines of fasting and praying I have been set free from those menacing evil spirits. And I have used my testimony of how the Lord our God delivered me and healed me of those horrible things which plagued my life for such a long time. I truly believe that if you also fasted a whole day or even 3 days and prayed deeply and even in travail, that the Lord would also deliver you and heal you of those spirits of depression, sadness, anxiety, and worry. Many believers are not aware that those things are evil spirits which take up residence in our souls, specifically our minds, and will torture us for as long they possible can, and some believers will pray for healing of such things and nothing happens, but what they don’t know is that if they combine those heartfelt prayers with fasting they would have a major breakthrough and finally receive the deliverance/healing that they so long for. So I pray in the Mighty Name of Yeshua Christ for your deliverance/healing from those horrible spirits and for you to be set free finally and live the abundant life the Word speaks of throughout the Holy Scriptures. Amen
Finding peace in uncertain times is so important. I find that a structured daily routine helps me stay grounded. I use Taskai on my Android to set reminders for my daily devotions and keep my spiritual habits consistent.
Wow, this hit right ti my heart. I am moving out of country yo care for an elderly parent. I had been questioning this move and God asking him if he was sure that he wanted me to take this move?. Then I apologized and said I was sorry for questioning him. That i trust and believe in him and my faith. Thank you I truly needed this today. I could also use a prayer to keep my heart,soul and mind at peace and that my move goes safely let it be God’s will. Amen
What a powerful testimony! To embrace suffering as a gift is a humbling but necessary experience to become more like Christ and bring forth fruit for God’s glory. Apostle Paul reminds Abba’s sons & daughters. “And if [we are His] children, [then we are His] heirs also: heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ [sharing His spiritual blessing and inheritance], if indeed we share in His suffering so that we may also share in His glory.” Romans 8:17 (AMP)
In the battle of spirits we are all on a jorny to conform into our own image of Jesus in our own struggles of conformity though we fight believing it is for other it is alway our own improvement God see and works us through as well as those we deal with
I know this feeling. I just gave it up to abandonment. I learned the year I was fully saved by Jesus Christ, that my family is The Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit. I don’t need anything or anybody else. Yes, it hurts sometimes but I just put my eyes on God and that’s all I need. God bless all the children that have buried their parents alive. I forgive them in the precious and mighty name of Jesus. Amen.
I too am a Mama who has had two of her four children estrange. I had never thought of it as “buried me alive”, but that is what it feels like. They walked away 3+ years before their Dad passed away this June and it hurt both of us so much. They didn’t even bother to respond when I reached out to tell them. Hurts a lot. Now only I am left to bear this burden and ask why? Like Ms. Darling I was raised by parents who tried their best and sometimes it didn’t seem that way. I loved my Dad a lot while my Mom was harder to love. I put up walls with her after my Dad passed, but never walked away from her. She didn’t always treat me nicely and called me names. I look back now and realize she was hurting but couldn’t let down her walls either. I know that God gave them to me for only the season that I raised them and then I had to let them be their own adults, making their own decisions, marrying the people they did and seemingly growing closer to the family of their spouses and growing away from us. We never could quite measure up to the standards that they set for us. Eventually, they put us in a box that was satisfactory for them and when we decided to get out of the box and make a decision for our later life that they didn’t like that was the time they broke off the very shallow relationship (we realized afterward) that they had with us. At the time we were so astonished at what had happened to us, but very soon met other parents whose children had also “buried them alive” and it was so heartbreaking. I have to daily give my children back to the Lord and I say daily because I still want to “fix” this like I used to fix everything that went wrong for them. I have a question for those parents whose children have walked. Do you still send greetings and/or gifts to them and your grandchildren like at Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries even when you don’t get any in return or even an acknowledgement? I have found myself not knowing if I should and sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t because I wonder if they just throw them in the trash.
I can feel your sentiments my sister. Yes we do everything & even sacrificed our time, effort & money just to give them all the love and care they need.But when we are old they forget everything,as if we don’t exist in their life.
But let’s just be positive that maybe they are also in a situation wherein they don’t want to bother us.Sometimes it is really unacceptable but it’s the lightest thing we can do to understand them.
But the real truth is for us to offer everything to God.Paul writes in Colossians3:17, “whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” And in 1 Corinthians 10:31 Paul writes something similar, saying, “whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
For our life belongs to God. Yes, it’s painful but that is the best thing we can do.Focus on God for he alone is our eternal God.For in serving & offering everything to Him is the sole purpose of our life to have ETERNAL LIFE with Him.
God bless sister.Peace be with you by the GRACE of God
Hello Sister!I know exactly the pain you are going through!My adult son walked away from me and my family 4 years ago and I am not contacting him anymore or sending any gifts or messages or phone calls.I stopped being a doormat and I focus now on my self,my Dad and my pets.And God always helping me no matter what happens in my life.I try to be strong and keep my head up.
I pray every day for my son and asking God giving him a good health.I like like you mentioned we are buried alive by our selfish adult children.We can’t change them.Only God can do.
My advice to you just stay strong and pray to God!He will provide and always going to help.He knows what you are going through and how good mother you are and he knows your adult children are left you behind and you are been a very good mother to them .
I definitely understand the frustration that’s happening with our grown children I too have 3 sons. I find myself calling day after day and get No response or call back. I was very young and single parent for a while with 2 lil boys and finally met my husband and had a 3rd son, but raise them quite well with the help of the Almighty God, but as I grew older and ask for wisdom and understanding I was able give them back to God. I love my kids and I know they have their own lives to tend after, but every once in awhile I do expect them to reach out and ask is everything okay/ do you need anything, but that never happens. So now I just pray and allow God to do what his word of promises says, I will never leave you nor forsake you . I have asked for forgiveness and have given forgiveness.
Thank you for your message. I never thought there were so many of us with children who we raised the best we knew how and then because we have the audacity to climb out of the box they constructed for us they simply walk away. I wonder how their children view what they have done to their parents and if they have even stopped to think the same may happen to them because of the example those children have seen. I know it is the evil one who is tearing our families apart, but why do our children have to be such willing accomplices? Bless you on your journey too and I pray that we both will someday have children that turn around and come back.
I too have two grown sons that have buried their dad and I alive. We are both 81 yrs. Old and my beloved husband and I have been married 62 yrs. He has Alzheimer’s now and getting worse every day but I hold onto him not wanting to put him in special care thinking I can do this, but all alone and no help. I get so tired beyond relief. I pray and I know the Lord is with me and us on this journey, but I still feel alone. My oldest son is 60 yrs. old but never checks on us and he lives 10 miles from us. I know I have made so many mistakes in raising them both but never thought they would disown the way they both have. It’s such a long story. I just have the verse in Psalms from David 42:5 and he mentions it 3 time’s, Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
Psalm 46:9 states, “He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth.” Just another one of those promises God tucked neatly away in the scripture for those willing to take the time to look for it. So fight the good fight of faith because an end is promised to the faithful.
God has taught me to trust and worship him through the bad times because as you get closer to your blessings things can get rough. Time your testimony don’t tell it early because you don’t know what God will do in chapter 8. I’m Christ Jesus love always, Michaela I am a child of God Joy belongs to me I am a child of God this is our story teach the Bible to yourself and can you trust God’s timing the mic and Give God the Glory. God’s timing is created to put my trust in him after I lost somethings I loved. Look at your past victories God is still with us. Look up Steven furtnick and watch struggling to watch God’s timing on YouTube.
Such a powerful reminder, Michaela! Thinking about our current struggles as just “Chapter 3” or “Chapter 4” when God is writing the whole story brings so much perspective.
You’re so right about looking back at past victories—remembering how God carried us through previous losses is often the exact thing that gives us strength to trust His timing today. Thank you for sharing your heart and encouraging us to keep our eyes fixed on Him through every season!
The good lord did nor allow me to have children of my own, but he let me raise 3 boys as a nannie for 20 yeats. When they retired me i felt like i had abandoned my own children. The feelings were undiscribable. It took me a long time to get over it. Then one day the lotd said, you have not lost them, be grateful to their parents for allowing to be in your life. This is when i knew it was god who placed these children in my life.
. Apostle Paul reminds Abba’s sons & daughters. “And if [we are His] children, [then we are His] heirs also: heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ [sharing His spiritual blessing and inheritance], if indeed we share in His suffering so that we may also share in His glory.” Romans 8:17 (AMP)
and allow God to do what his word of promises says, I will never leave you nor forsake you 