I think someone on this forum was asking about this recently, so thought I’d share. Lots of helpful, practical advice and Scripture for this struggle.
It was me. I struggle with homosexuality as a Christian, and it makes life heck. It makes me feel confused at how to live
That’s not a good place to be in Josiah. I’m sorry I have nothing to offer that might help. Did you read anything in the article that spoke to you?
What surprised me in the list of sexual sins was emotional affairs. I’m assuming there’s no actual sex going on so I’m confused about what it means. Fantasy is listed as a separate category so I’m also assuming that fantasy isn’t part of this emotional affair. Can anyone explain?
Under the Boundaries list, this stood our for me:
1. Avoid tempting situations. Don’t engage in relationships where the emotional and physical boundaries feel blurred. Keep all your actions open; nothing done in secret. Avoid compromising.
I’m not sure about the word ‘blurred’, but this might apply to me. There’s no physical danger that I’m aware of, but emotionally? I need a better understanding of what’s being said.
I’ve been watching Beckett Cook videos. He’s a former gay man who’s now Christian and he interviews other men who have struggled with it. It’s encouraging.
The problem with tempting situations as simply leaving the house because men are everywhere. I wonder if it’s a sin to even leave the house for me, why did God allow me to have this.
To be tempted is not sin. Jesus was tempted and He did not sin. But the act itself is sin and engaging in fantasies is sin. This you can control and if that is even a struggle, you can work towards overcoming it. Your relationship with Jesus is the key to overcoming it. Make the choice to dig deep into your relationship with Him. He will meet you and He can most certainly help you.
You don’t need to hear that it’s sin. I’m sure you already know that. I feel for you and although my struggles are not the same, I know what a struggle is like. As to why God would allow you to have this? I don’t know, but all of us have struggles of some sore or another. Even the apostle Paul had struggles as evidenced in Romans 7.
Don’t give in and don’t give up. Pray about it over and over. God already knows what your struggle is and our God is a forgiving God. Praying for you right now.
The Header of this topic Is Problematic
The title itself “What to Do If You Still Struggle with Sexual Sin as a Christian” - contains a theologically dangerous presupposition: that ongoing, unrepentant struggle with sexual sin is a normal, expected, acceptable condition for a Christian.
This is not biblical. Consider:
1 John 3:6-9 (ESV): “No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him… No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him; and he cannot keep on sinning, because he has been born of God.”
1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (ESV): “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral… will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”
The biblical pattern is: “such were some of you” - past tense. The Christian has been delivered from the dominion of sin (Rom. 6:6, 14, 17-18). This does not mean sinless perfection, but it does mean that habitual, unrepentant sexual sin is incompatible with genuine saving faith.
The likely errors re the aticle..
- “Struggle” Language That Normalizes Sin
The word “struggle” in modern evangelical usage often means “I keep falling into this sin, I feel bad about it, but I haven’t actually stopped.”
This is not the biblical concept of mortification (Rom. 8:13; Col. 3:5) or the warfare of the Spirit against the flesh (Gal. 5:16-17).
Biblical “struggle” is active resistance unto death of sin, not passive resignation to recurring failure. The Puritan John Owen’s famous line applies: “Be killing sin or it will be killing you.”
- Failure to Distinguish Temptation from Sin
Many modern articles blur the line between being tempted (not sin, Heb. 4:15) and indulging lust (sin, Matt. 5:28).
A Christian may be tempted with sexual thoughts until glory, but habitual indulgence of those thoughts or actions is a mark of unregeneracy, not normal Christian experience.
- “Grace” as a License for Continued Sin
The article empasizes… “God’s grace covers you” and “don’t let shame keep you from Jesus” without the necessary corollary: “Go and sin no more” (John 8:11). Grace is not antinomian, it teaches us to renounce ungodliness (Titus 2:11-12).
Romans 6:1-2 (ESV): “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?”
- Absence of the Call to Repentance and Mortification
A biblically faithful article on this topic would be…
Call the person to examine whether they are in the faith (2 Cor. 13:5)
Command them to put sexual sin to death (Col. 3:5) not merely “manage” it.
Warn that unrepentant sexual sin excludes from the kingdom (1 Cor. 6:9-10; Gal. 5:19-21; Eph. 5:5-6)
Point to the power of the indwelling Spirit to actually overcome sin (Rom. 8:13; Gal. 5:16)
This article article does none of these with the necessary severity.
Instead, it probably offers tips, strategies, and encouragement for someone who “still struggles” - which, in practice, means someone who has not yet repented.
The Deeper Problem: Modern Evangelicalism’s View of “Struggle”
Modern evangelicalism has created a category of “struggling Christian” that the Bible does not recognize. The Bible recognizes:
Category Biblical Evidence
The regenerate, walking in obedience. 1 John 2:3-6; 3:24
The regenerate, temporarily overtaken by sin, who repent. Psalm 51; 1 John 1:9 (confession, not habitual sin)
The unregenerate, professing faith, living in sin. 1 John 2:4, 19; 3:6-10; Jude 4
Hence…there is no biblical category for a genuine Christian who habitually, unrepentantly practices sexual sin and simply needs “strategies” to cope.
What a Biblically Faithful Article Would Say
“Examine yourself to see whether you are in the faith” (2 Cor. 13:5). Habitual, unrepentant sexual sin may indicate you were never truly converted (1 John 3:6-10). Sounds harsh, but it is truth.
“Put to death what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness” (Col. 3:5). This is a command, not a suggestion. The Christian has been empowered by the Spirit to obey it.
“Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Gal. 5:16). This is a promise, not a probability. The Spirit-indwelt believer can and must walk in victory.
“If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth” (1 John 1:6).
Stop lying to yourself that you are a Christian while willfully practicing sin.
“God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance” (Rom. 2:4).
Grace is not a safety net for ongoing sin, it is the power to stop sinning.
Conclusion
What the article is doing/topic…
It normalizes what the Bible condemns, comforts where the Bible warns, and offers strategies where the Bible commands repentance and mortification.
The Christian who “still struggles with sexual sin” is not someone who needs tips for managing temptation, they need to repent, believe the gospel afresh, and walk in the Spirit’s power, or they need to question whether they have ever truly been born again.
J.
Personally, I didn’t find this helpful, but judgmental. Josiah didn’t say he was practicing sin, but that he struggled in the temptation. The Bible says that if we think we don’t have sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. That applies to everyone including you.
It seems obvious to me that he is struggling and looking for encouragement. He doesn’t need to be told that its sin. He already knows it’s sin. That’s like telling a long time smoker that it’s not healthy to smoke. They already know that.
I respectfully ask that the discussion remain focused on the Scriptures rather than on me personally. If there is an objection, let it be directed toward the biblical texts or their interpretation, not toward the individual/me presenting them.
“If we say we have no sin” (1 John 1:8) is about indwelling sin, not practicing sin
1 John 1:8 correctly: “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” But John is speaking of the remaining corruption of indwelling sin, the sin principle that still dwells in the regenerate (Rom. 7:17, 20). He is not saying that Christians habitually practice sin. In fact, he says the opposite in the very next chapter:
1 John 2:1 (ESV): “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin.” - This is the goal: not sinning.
1 John 2:3-6 (ESV): “And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments… whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.”
And 1 John 3:6-9, which I cited earlier, is not about perfectionism. It is about the direction of the life. The regenerate person does not make a practice of sin, sin is not their character, their pattern, their unrepentant lifestyle.
And for your information, I was not referring to Josiah. Also, this is not the first time you have characterized me as “judgmental,” which I do not believe is a fair representation of what I have written.
J.
If someone knowingly continues in sin or values earthly pleasures above God’s commands, their love is counterfeit. While outward actions may appear righteous, if they are done without love for God, they are of no value in His sight. Thomas Tuke, Love to God, (Crossville, TN: Puritan Publications, 2025) 72.
In the world, there is a four-fold invitation, yet only one leads to salvation. The devil says, “Come unto me, but I will destroy you.” The world says, “Follow me, but I will deceive you.” The flesh says, “Follow me, but I will fail you.” Christ alone says, “Come unto me, and I will refresh you.” The Works of Henry Greenwood, (Crossville, TN: Puritan Publications, 2024) 260.
J.
This isn’t about you. Or me, and in this post it’s about Josiah who has bravely shared something personal that he’s struggling with. He knows it’s sin and likely from the very verses you quoted. The problem isn’t lack of knowledge, but how to apply what God says. If Josiah was helped by your quotes and your statement:
then I stand corrected.
This forum has a place for those who like to debate Scripture, but this forum is not for that purpose alone. Most of us are Christians and some of us are here for encouragement, help, prayer and just figuring out how to apply what we already know. We’re all different and it’s in that difference that lies the beauty of the church.
Since you remember a time when I ‘characterized you as judgmental before’, perhaps you should not hang onto that and let it go. It shouldn’t matter to you what I think. It’s what God thinks about us that’s important. If you don’t think of your words that way, then what difference does it make what I say.
I felt the need to say something here because I understand what it means to struggle as a Christian, and my heart goes out to him. His sharing was personal and he needed a personal answer. Be well and no offense intended.
No offense taken. Just keep in mind that this is not the ekklesia, but a discussion forum with a wide range of perspectives.
I forgot to mention that I have seen on Reddit and Quora what often appears to be a safe haven for every kind of sin, where many sit in judgment over the Scriptures rather than allowing the Scriptures to judge them. As Isaiah warned, there are those who “call evil good and good evil” (Isaiah 5:20), and it is not uncommon to see Christians criticized simply for quoting biblical texts.
This is one of the reasons I am hesitant to share my personal testimony in an online setting. The Lord warned that we would face opposition for His name’s sake (John 15:18–20), and Paul reminded Timothy that “all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Timothy 3:12).
If you noticed, Josiah has not responded, which is understandable since my comments were not directed at him personally. My intention was to discuss principles and Scripture, not to single out any individual. As believers, we should strive to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15) and to “test everything; hold fast what is good” (1 Thessalonians 5:21).
J.
@Josiah, for a long time, I had a problem with lust, not for men but for women. I think that it’s similar inwardly. God convicted me that it was sin, because I had previously thought that if I didn’t do the act, I was okay. But if the temptation becomes an obsession, it’s wrong.
Well, after God convicted me of the sin of lust because of Jesus’ words:
Mat 5:27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
Mat 5:28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
God led me to praise him with my mind for the beauty that he has put in his world as our Creator when I first got a glimpse of a woman. The result was that he freed from that selfish pleasure and enabled me to focus my faith on him as the Creator. I do it every time, and he has delivered me from that sin completely. I praise God for his rescue. You are on my daily prayer list, @Josiah.
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